Without
by Obi the Kid
Summary: Takes place right after Sam's Hell wall crashes and he's taken to the panic room. Bobby POV as he watches Dean try to deal with his brother's fall.


**TITLE:** Without

**AUTHOR:** Obi the Kid

**SUMMARY:** Takes place right after Sam's Hell wall crashes and he's taken to the panic room. Bobby POV as he watches Dean try to deal with his brother's fall.

**RATING:** PG

**DISCLAIMER**: The characters of Sam and Dean Winchester and the world of Supernatural do not belong to me, nor do I make any profit from this story.

* * *

The wall's down.

And my job just got that much more difficult.

It's not enough to have to spring a surprise attack on a demon and angel working in cahoots, but now I've got a Winchester boy about to fall to pieces on me, right when I need him the most.

Cas knew that takin' Sam's wall down would probably take Dean with it. He may be a foolish angel, but he's no fool. He's been hanging around these two for several years now; he knows what they are to each other. He knows the depths of their co-dependency. You take one down, the other trips and stumbles their way home – at least for a time.

Dean's there now, stumbling his way through how to help Sam, when we both know there ain't a damn thing that either of us can do. Whatever torment Sam's going through, it's up to him to find his way back to us.

If he can.

In the meantime I need Dean on target. I can't do this on my own. Hell, I probably can't do it with an army at my side. But we've done the impossible before and we ain't goin' down without a fight. Time's tickin' on our chances though. We go soon or not at all. The hardest part - I gotta pry Dean away from the only thing that's kept him going all these years.

Ain't no easy task when you're talkin' Winchesters. John instilled a stubbornness and loyalty into that boy that ain't like nothing I've ever seen. He'd die a hundred times over for his kid brother. They fight, they bicker, they go their separate ways. In the end it only strengthens what was steel metal-strong to begin with. But this…this is different. This isn't anything they've known before. Even Dean's own trip to Hell pales in comparison to Sam's road trip with Lucifer. It's like comparin' the flame of a single match to the power of a raging inferno. Burning and twisting in ways that we can't even think to imagine.

Sam's there now. We think. Standing at the edge of the path he's got to travel to hopefully recover from the collapsing of the Hell-wall in his head.

Dean's not left his side since we got him into the panic room. Angel proofed and safe, he's been doing whatever he can to bring Sam around; to bring him back from this nightmare. And then he slumps back into the cot-side chair, staring at his unconscious brother and I know he's thinking the worst.

If I'm thinkin' it, how could he not be?

It's a stomach-turning sensation watching this play out. I've known these boys forever. Sam's always been the one to take a chance and venture outside the Winchester world, but Dean was always there and always dedicated to the family cause. Keeping them tight and together, even when apart. Hell, he practically raised Sam through most of their childhood and no matter what Sam did or where he went off to, Dean swore up and down that he'd always keep watch over and protect his little brother. He'd keep him safe no matter what.

And now…now we're here and we're stuck as a once trusted friend – someone Dean had gone to the ends of the earth for - struck his brother down with a simple touch to the temple. Now, Dean still watches over Sam, only this time as he lies quietly on the cot; his calm, resting body at total conflict to his mind. And I can see the defeat in the older one's face. He's ready to fall on his knees and scream and yell and pummel something to death if need be to help the one person that he can't survive without.

It won't help of course. Nothin' will; except time perhaps. And even that we're not certain of.

So Dean hurts.

And I hurt.

Few things are more painful than watching loved ones battle a difficult situation. We're two-fold here. I love these boys as if they were my own blood; but I can't even begin to rival what they are to each other. And right now, Dean can't take that tiny step back and see the smoke around the fire just yet. So that's up to me; to put aside that heartbreak I feel at Sam's falling and focus on the job that is to take down Cas and Crowley. I think – I know – Dean can do the same. I just have to give him the grieving time to accept Sam's condition.

The clip of addressed paper that Balthazar gave us rests in Dean's hand and I hear, "All right this is where we're gonna be, Sam. So you get your lazy ass outta bed and come meet us." There's a brief pause and then a final subtly desperate plea. "Sammy, please." The nickname that only Dean can get away with using and usually when Sam is at his most vulnerable.

As expected though, there's still no response. I'm waiting at the panic room door as Dean picks up Sam's gun from the worktable and carefully places it on top the paper at his brother's side.

I turned away to move from the door and heard a single deeply drawn out shuttering breath. And then Dean walked away from the little brother that he'd spent his entire lifetime protecting. The future now unknown for either of them.

In a short lifetime of heartbreakingly, emotionally painful events, this one was right up there in the top three for Dean Winchester. Each of those times revolved around Sam of course. Leaving his brother alone topside as he was dragged to Hell; then watching his brother make a voluntary dive into that same pit, and now this.

Can any other family on the planet lay claim to such excruciating trials of love and sacrifice?

Pardon the pun, but hell no!

I can only hope that Sam finds some clarity in his mind long enough to come after us, because win or lose in this upcoming battle with angel and demon, I know with every ounce of my being that Dean's will to go on is done if his brother falls completely. And if that happens, there ain't gonna be a damn thing I can do to about it except watch it all end.

These boys need each other to survive. It's a damn near claustrophobic life of pain and angst that no one should ever be victim to, but one that has been forced onto these two.

I don't claim to have ever seen anything like it and don't claim I ever will again.

Sam needs to survive this, not only for his own life and sanity, but also for his brother's.

If I've learned anything about these boys, it's that there will be no Dean Winchester without a Sam to keep safe.

* * *

The end.


End file.
